Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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