hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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