its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
