You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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