making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
