So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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