You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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