God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
