Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
