Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
