After last night, I could never be a politician.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
