her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
