LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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