Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
