whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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