I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Randomize
