chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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