I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
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i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
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But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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