So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think people are normalizing furries
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
