yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
