i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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