Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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