foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
