Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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