After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
