Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
