I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
