so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
