he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize