I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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