Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
