She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
