i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
