Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My liver just had a heart attack.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
you never un-have a 4some
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
