you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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