Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
