i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
