He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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