I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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