well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
