I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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