also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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