Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
