Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
