I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
