I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
