Who wears a wallet chain?!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
