Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
