she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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