New invention idea: vibrating tampons
do herpes really smell.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
