Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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