I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
