I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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