Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
