lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
