He asked to "fluff my boner.."
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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