mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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