Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
