i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
