Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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