I faked an abortion last night.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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