found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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