do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My liver just had a heart attack.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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