You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
