i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize