NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
